The Things

Museums and parks

  1. Visit Madame Tussaud’s
  2. Visit the Bank of England museum – done!
  3. Visit the HMS Belfast
  4. Visit the Tower of London; witness the Ceremony of the Keys
  5. Go to the London Dungeons
  6. Mooch around Kew Gardens
  7. Monkey about at London Zoo
  8. Behave regally in Buckingham Palace
  9. Visit Kenwood House
  10. Go to Highgate Cemetary; be sure to look at Karl Marx’s grave
  11. Visit the Crossness Pumping Station
  12. Eat a picnic in Temple Gardens
  13. Nod approvingly at Changing the Guard
  14. Visit the newly interactive Museum of London – done!
  15. Fail to be interested by paintings at Tate Britain
  16. Get the DLR down to the Museum of London Docklands – done!
  17. Clamber up Monument – done!
  18. Get excited by engineery things in the Tower Bridge Exhibition and attend an event on the walkways – done!
  19. Assess the decor in Doctor Johnson’s house
  20. Make it to the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park – done!
  21. Walk around Hogarth’s House
  22. Escape the maze, and look at dinosaurs, in Crystal Palace Park – done!
  23. Sir John Soanes’ Museum in Lincoln’s Inn Fields
  24. Old Operating Theatre in Southwark
  25. Find a way out of the Hampton Court Palace maze
  26. Snap a decent wildlife photo at the London Wetland Centre – done!
  27. Explore Dennis Severs’ house
  28. Be a rampant commercialist at Museum of Brands, Packaging and Advertising – done!
  29. Bee excited at the Chelsea Physic Garden
  30. Go on an east London Culture Line museum crawl
    1. Hackney Museum
    2. Geffrye Museum
    3. Wesley’s Chapel
    4. Royal London Hospital Museum
    5. Whitechapel Gallery
    6. The Women’s Library
    7. The Brunel Museum; keep an eye out for Thames Tunnel tours
    8. Horniman Museum
    9. Crystal Palace Museum
    10. Museum of Croydon
  31. Get around to visiting the Wellcome Collection

Tube and transport

  1. Go on the Waterloo & City line – done!
  2. Drive around the M25
  3. Be a foot passenger on the Woolwich Ferry – done!
  4. Hire a boat on the Thames (or canal)
  5. Pass through all Underground stations in one day of operation
  6. Ride on London’s only steam railway – done!
  7. Visit a disused Tube station – done!
  8. Ride on old Tube stock
  9. Partake in an Alternative Tube Challenges day

Food and drink

  1. Have a drink at Vertigo 42
  2. Enjoy a refreshing pint, at 6am, in Smithfield’s market
  3. Go on the Fuller’s brewery tour
  4. Do some wine tasting at Vinopolis
  5. Have afternoon tea somewhere you have to dress smartly
  6. A Monopoly board pub crawl
  7. A Circle line pub crawl
  8. Be involved in a pub quiz in each London postal area (E, EC, N, NW, SE, SW, W, WC) – work in progress!
  9. Eat at Konstam, where most ingredients are sourced from within the M25
  10. Have a shisha on the Edgware Road
  11. Go for a curry in Tooting
  12. Go to all of Fancy A Pint‘s five pint London pubs
  13. Drink port in a St. James’s club
  14. Cocktails at The Savoy
  15. Cigar and champagne at The Terrace Garden
  16. Eat meat from The Meat Wagon


  1. See a film at the Imax Cinema – done!
  2. Present a programme on a London radio station
  3. Pay homage to Top Minder Locations
  4. Be an extra in something (preferably EastEnders)
  5. Watch an edition of London Tonight
  6. Phone in to the Robert Elms programme on BBC London 94.9
  7. Rock out to a gig at The Roundhouse
  8. Have a letter printed in the Evening Standard
  9. Try to find the Big Breakfast house

Music and performance

  1. Soak up some culture by attending a BBC Prom at the Royal Albert Hall
  2. Go to the Lord Mayor’s Show – done!
  3. See Chas & Dave live
  4. See a funny person tell jokes at the Hammersmith Apollo
  5. Form a joke band; get a photo on Abbey Road zebra crossing; perform once; disband
  6. Speak at Speakers’ Corner
  7. A night out at Ronnie Scott’s
  8. Go to a Richard Herring gig with people mentioned in his book (now with 50% off at Amazon)
  9. Stand up at The Globe (short play preferred)
  10. Lord it at the Notting Hill Carnival – done!

Politics, justice and religion

  1. Watch Prime Minister’s Questions from the public gallery at the House of Commons
  2. See someone get sent down at the Old Bailey – sort of done…
  3. Tour the Clock Tower – done!
  4. Attend a function for each of the three major political parties
  5. Watch Mayor’s Question Time at the Greater London Assembly building
  6. Mutter things in the Whispering Gallery at St. Paul’s Cathederal
  7. Attend a choral service at Westminster Abbey
  8. Visit Neasden Temple
  9. Cover my head at the Bevis Marks Synagogue

Sport and leisure

  1. Watch darts at Alexandra Palace
  2. Go ice skating at Somerset House – done!
  3. Get into the Long Room at Lord’s
  4. Attend a football match at Wembley
  5. Attend a rugby game at Twickenham
  6. Cycle the Regent’s Canal towpath
  7. Banger racing at Wimbledon Stadium – done!
  8. Do a length, and back, of Tooting Bec Lido (180m; best swimming certificate I have is 100m)
  9. Join in the Chap Olympiad
  10. Organise a Boris Bike race

Things that don’t quite fit

  1. Watch butch men sell flowers at Covent Garden Flower Market
  2. Take a trip to Eel Pie Island. Don’t try to annexe it (like Danny Wallace did) – done!
  3. Make an investment on the London Stock Exchange
  4. Celebrate the Chinese New Year in Leicester Square – failed!
  5. Window shop at London Silver Vaults
  6. Enter a Shoot London photography competition

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